K追悼演奏ライヴレポ(日本語版)
I just finished writing a Japanese version of my live report from the September 15 concert, so for those who are looking for the English version please scroll down a little, or go to the entry link directly here:
K Memorial Performance English Version

これはK追悼演奏のライヴレポート日本語版です!
間違いを書ければ、本当にすみません。m(_ _)m
長い間を書いていて、頑張りましたが、
まだ読み返さなかった。その内に問題を治すつもりですが、今寝たいと思う。
兎に角、楽しんでください!




今夜のK追悼演奏は……

1行で全部括られない。
この一夜は感情が旋風みたいだった。ワクワク。嬉しさ。哀しさ。涙。望み等等…

14:00から友達と会って、会場や時間などを確認のために2人が会場に行った。
さすが会場等が見つけやすいので、後は花屋に行たり、薔薇を買ったりしました。
私は赤い薔薇4輪と中に白い薔薇1輪を選んた。白い薔薇はKさんの象徴で、赤いのがMoi dix Moisメンバーの象徴です。
小さいカードでKさんに私の個人感想も付いた。
それから献花台に向けて…

CLUB QUATTROは4階と5階にあり、エレベーターに乗るのが必要なので、
あまり考えなかったが、すぐに……

4階にエレベーターのドアが開けて、
目の前に暗くて長い廊下があった。岩室みたいです。雰囲気を本当に感じた。その廊下に入る時、色々なファンから送った花スタンドを見た。



細部が素晴らしくて、上にKのギター形を付いた!作った方々が凄い!

その後、見たくなかったが、見なくちゃいけない所……

一番怖いですが、一番綺麗な場所…



D+SECTのアルバムを流れながら、この献花台を見つけた。
入った時間は15:00ぐらいので、あまり人がない。まぁ、ファンがいるけど、
2〜3人だけです。たぶん早いだから。
しかし、他の人があまりなくて嬉しかったです。
私室みたいので、私にとって大切な分秒になった。




下に付いている2つの写真は私の薔薇です。
テーブルに置いてみている時、手が震え始めた。
カードも出て、花束の中に入ってみたが、手がもっともっと震えていて、
難局になった。
カードで書いている時にも手が震えた。ちょっと恥ずかしいんですけど…

という事で、私の感情について、
たいてい打ち明けたくないが、今回は感情的な日だったね。
だから、本当の感情を書いたら、皆が分かるでしょう。

私の生命の中に死んでいた人々が多い。時々、あの人々をよく知っていて、時々、あまり知らないんですが、家族が知っていた。時々、あの人々は私の友達、時々、家族だった。
でも、アメリカに住んでいる時、その現実がもっと分かりやすかったです。
生きている友達や家族が私と一緒にいたんだ。大好きな人々が死んだ時、葬式に全然行かなかった。哀しすぎて、怖かった。現実に向けたくなかった。
実は、今それが悔いているわけじゃない。全然悔いない。私にとって、哀哭が心の内にあるので、外は哀哭を発表しない(涙等)。
まぁ、この日、外の感想が全然ないと言えば、嘘かも。
しかし、後程、その話を語るつもりです。

Kの献花台は献花台だけでも、私にとって怖くて、大変だったので、
生命の中にこの献花台に訪ねるのが大きいステップになった。

兎に角、今はその献花台を見てよかったです。
でも、今から気持ちが変えないかも。
今も渋谷にいる時、ちょっと寂しくなる。
数年前にKに出会って、ビックリした!
その時から、インタネットでKさんが特に渋谷の写真をよく付いていたので、
渋谷に行く時、「もし、もう一度Kさんに出会ったらいいなあ!」や「Kは今日も渋谷のハンバーガーの店の写真を撮るかしら?」等をよく考えている。もちろん、自身でそんな質問を聞けるんですが、時々忘れている。現実じゃないようだ。

だから、4ヶ月の後にその献花台は現実の理解に1ステップ接近している。


続いて…

ライヴの事!!



ライヴが始まりところで面白い話がある。18:00ごろ、友達を2人と一緒に時間の話をしていた。まだライヴば始まらないので、冗談として「もう午後6時だね!遅い!!あと10分かかるかもしれないね。」と言っていて、すぐに3人(私と友達)が分かった!もちろん!10分!!いつも10分! Moi dix Mois = DIX = 10. 6:10 --> 6はBEASTの番号で、10はdix。
さすが、6:10ですぐにライヴが始めた!ビックリして、一緒に「OOHHH!!!」と言っていた。(笑)
前は冗談だけだと思ったが、本当はずでしょう!
今までどう気づかなかったかなあ???

そして、
ライヴの名前は同じことだと思います。元は「Scarlet Sabbath」というライヴは5月24日(土)だった。
歴史には日曜日じゃなくて、土曜日はSabbathだよ。だから、ライヴの名前は相応しいと思う。
しかしながら、結局、ライヴの当日が月曜日になったんだけど、「Scarlet」という言葉が似合うね。Kらしい色だね。


ということで、Moi dix Moisメンバーがステージに入る時、皆が赤いものを着ていた。Hayatoの髪が明るい赤いで、Sugiyaの髪も前に赤いで眉毛も赤いだった。Sethの髪がもちろんいつも赤いで、衣装にも赤い部分があるかもしれない。そしてMana様は大きい赤い十字架ネックレスをして、赤と黒リップスティックと目の下に赤い血の涙を彩った。
形といえば、メンバーの衣装は全てブラックで皆の顔に白いメイクも彩った(赤と黒と共に)。その白いメイクを見る時、すぐに気づいた!

Kさんは白い、赤い、と黒いメイクをいつも使った。クラウンも好きだった。Sugiyaのメイクはとってもクラウンみたい。目に黒いディテールでヨーロッパ人のクラウンのような形だった。そして、クラウンみたいじゃなくて、Sethさんの形も面白かった。頭に巻き付いた布から髪が出たのがいい感じで、眼帯と共にとてもスタイリッシュだと思う。


私にとって、メンバーの形がそそられた。同じ様なコーディネートを着たから。



この写真は見にくいだけど、このレポートの後は他の写真を付くつもりです。
今回、私のコーディネートも黒い服と赤いティテールや小物を着た。それもライヴの前に、「まぁ、黒い血の涙を描くかなあ?」と考えたが、時間がないので、描かなかった。もちろん、私だけじゃなくて、他のファンも黒いと赤い衣装を着た。たぶん皆は同じアイデアを考えたね。

ライヴの始めにManaはKの赤いギターを持って、すぐに皆は「K!!!!!」を呼んだ。
SEの後は「Unmoved」を流れて、白いと赤い光の十字架Jeune Filleを使った。

Unmovedは素敵なファースト曲だった。この一夜の雰囲気を紹介した。メンバーのエネルギーが最高で、Kのギター音でも本人がいた感じ。それからその「May you rest in peace」という歌詞が現実の繊細な色合いを持った。そんな情景や感想を忘れられない。

そして、ライブの間に舞台照明が赤色でステージを溢れた。赤と青もチカチカけど、
メインテーマは赤い。全部の演奏は本当にKのイメージようだ。

Unmovedの後、ついに初めてBeast Sideを紹介しました!

この前、Youtubeで色々なKUBANAの動画を見たり、Prototypeもアップしたりしましたが、初めてライヴの経験だったのだ。その時、あまり見られなかったが、ManaはKのギターを引いていて(?)、ステージでKの所も立った。

Beast Sideが終った時、スタンドに置いた。スタンドの上に黒いウィングがあり、天井から照らし出した。

セットリストを忘れたが、ネットで見つければ、ここに更新します。

多くの曲はツインギター方法を使ったので、Kのギターの音をよく聞けた。

MCはあまり長くないが、始めにKの事を語って、泣くほどようだった。それが難しかった…すぐにMCを続いて、色々な情報をアナウンスした。

Deep Sanctuary IVは
Mana、Kozi、とYu~ki伯爵でMALICE MIZERのセッションを演奏するつもりで、Moi dix MoisサイトやManaのブログでYu~ki伯爵に質問を送ることが出来ます。後はDis Infernoも宣した。

Mana様からメッセージもあって、
この時、普通のクラシック音楽を流れ始める時、皆さんはすぐに笑っていた。
メッセージが短いけど、基本的にこのライヴは大切な一夜になって、これからのMoi dix Moisもよろしくお願いしますと言っていた。

全てのMCが面白くて楽しかったが、
もちろん今回KとSethと共にダイアローグや冗談ではないので、気持ち寂しかった。
皆さんはKの道化が好きだったと思うので、そんな事なしでMCが短そうだ。
それが今からMoi dix Moisが違う現実の他の備忘みたい。

しかしながら、新曲を2曲を聞けた!!!まぁ、1曲をもう聞いたが、ディアボロス エ アンジェリー(まだ名前が正しいかどうか分からない…)。この曲が清々しい感じ!次のTwilight Flower (トワイライトフラワー)という新曲を紹介した。この曲がなかなかユニークで、とっても好きです!!

始めに温厚ですが、すぐにドラムがドンドンして、全部のメンバーが出てくる。
雰囲気はMALICE MIZERのMerveilles時代を思い浮かんだ。そして、たぶん志向じゃないですが、「チャイルド・オブ・ライト」というゲームの音楽も思い浮かんだ。特にルベラに会う時…たぶん考えすぎなんだ。(微笑)
兎に角、弱音とダークなMoi dix Mois的な音もある。
もう一度聞きたい!

MAD INGRAINは毎回演奏している普通の曲ですが、Kさんがよく際立ったので、
「何になるか」と考えた。やっぱりこの曲を演奏する時、Hayatoが留守を預かった。Hayatoのエネルギーが凄い!でも、客席の反応はちょっと… だから、もう一度エネルギーを上げてみて、思い切り上げてしまって、効果的になったのだ。
ちなみに、MAD INGRAINの間にたいてい色々な合い言葉を使っているが、今回は特の合い言葉を覚えないんですが… 


他の事は、久々Lamentful Missを演奏した!!

ステージから出る前に、私をとっても感動した曲を始まった。
毎回、Moi dix MoisのライヴはKが紹介していたので、いつもこの部分を待ってきた。悪魔の声でKは「This song....is.....Angeee」と言っていた。
前は楽しみにしていたので、いつも笑顔していたが……
今回違い。
気分が悪い。「止めて…」とずっと考えた。声を聞くと不安感になった。
実は、もう一度その部分とKの声を聞いてとっても嬉しいですが、
辛いだった。

その時、立ち竦んでいた。
曲の中途は目が覚めて、私の中に何か起こることを気づいた。

今からその感動の事を語りたいんです。高校の頃、死去の外傷的体験のために内に感想で飲まれて、家に大発作をしました。後は他の外傷的体験のためにもう一度発作。気を失ったので、何も覚えないが、すぐに目覚めた。日本にも3〜4年前、部屋の中に気を失って、大発作をして、地上に目覚めた。今夜もそんな同じ感情を感じて、頭の中に「気を失わないで…気を失わないで…」と考えた。
数年あとはたいてい自分を抱き止めることが出来るけど、今回とっても速くて、意外ので、大丈夫になるかどうか分からなかった。
Kの死去を聞き及ぶ時、もう一度気を失うほどけど、自分を抱き止めた。
もうライヴの事を勢い込んだので、献花台は一番辛いになると考えた。
しかしながら、その声とAngeを聞くと、やり切れないになった。
この場合は小発作だったと思うが、大発作にならなくてよかったですね。
特にもっと大変なライヴを作りたくなかったよ。

だから、ライヴの間に泣かないが、皆さんのように私もとっても哀しかった。
私にとって、怒る時泣き始めるが、こんな事で(死去等)反作用が自分を時々官制できないかもしれない。だから涙なしで同じ感じを経験した。

Angeの後はメンバーがステージから出て、もうすぐ戻した。
最後は皆さんに一番辛い分秒になった……Je L'aime。

始める前にSethさんは「手を上げて、K君に祈ろう」と言っていた。
10回鐘は鳴って、無言だった。

ゆっくりJe l'aimeが初めた。光が紺色になって、暗影の中にManaが泣いた。ライヴの中にそれが一番哀しい分秒になった。涙が止められなくて、私は「今から続けないかなあ…」と考えた。しかし、引くことを続いたが、エンディングでSethは1人で「Je l'aime」を歌ながら、Mana様からもっと涙が流れた。もの凄く哀しかった。

一人一人メンバーはステージから出た。Hayatoは赤い髪を見せびらかしているのが可愛くて、自身でKさんに入貢してみた。実はHayatoがたくさん優雅を表示したと思います。最後はMana様。出る前に地上に自分のギターを置いて、Kのギターを持ってハードコアリフを引いた。その後ステージの中に空に上げて、皆は大きい声で「K!!!!!!!!!!!」を呼んだ。Kのギターを持ちながら、出た。

後はクラシカルの音楽を流れて、皆が聞きながら、泣いたり、目の前にステージのシーンを見たり、無言で最後の分秒を引っ込めた。その時、皆の泣き声だけを聞けた。

ゆっくり光を点けて、それから皆が出た。

出口の前に他のサプライズがあった。

まずはKの黒いギター!!



花が多い!



Kの写真は中にある。

後はメモリアルチケットを貰った。






この写真が下手だけど、私のコーディネートです。
この写真でOPが長そうなんだけど、普通のOPだよ。長くない。

今日は感情が多くて、今まで数時間を書いていた。
でも、この思い出を忘れられない。
今、Moi dix Moisにとって難しい時間ので、進行のために皆で全部のパワーと愛とサポートをくれましょう!

未来に向けて、次の事として望みがあるんですが、
Kさんを全然忘れられない。
天堂からKはこのライヴを見て、幸せ気持ちだといいんですが。

それでは、未来に向けながら、おやすみなさいとも言いたいです。

dix Love!!!!!!!!!!




Sarah
Game Lab Finale
In the spirit of last night's concert, I'm adding this entry a little bit later in the evening so most everyone will have had the chance to read the K memorial live report first. If you haven't read it yet, please do so!!

With that in mind, we say goodbye to one more thing close to the hearts of Moi dix Mois fans.
That is Game Lab, Mana-Sama's Game inferno.



This series has run for 3 years and 7 months now and with the sudden retirement of the company that made Game Lab, it was a shock to learn this issue would be the last.

However, as Mana mentioned in his blog a few entries ago, it seems like fate that Game Lab is ending on its October issue (the 10th month).

Also, due to this stop I will finally be able to catch up and finish translating every Game inferno article!

I talked about this a few entries ago, but I started working on translating Game Lab again, so one by one translations of each issue will appear on here as I finish them.

The bad news is though, these translations may not start appearing immediately.
My parents are coming to Japan starting Friday and we'll be taking a short trip to Hiroshima next week. Therefore, I think I'll be pretty busy until the end of this month and then I can finally try to catch up.

In the mean time, I will probably post a little about Hiroshima once I go (again) so please look forward to it!
Please also look forward to the Game Lab translations as they come!!



Sarah
Move Towards the Darkness


Tonight's Moi dix Mois K Memorial performance...

I don't think theres any possible way to sum up the night in a single sentence.
Everything was a whirlwind of emotion. Excitement. Happiness. Sadness. Tears. Hope. the list goes on and on...

I met up with a friend around 2:00 in the afternoon and together we headed to the venue so we could make sure we were going to the right place and find out information about the memorial alter that was supposed to be there. Fortunately we were able to do all that rather quickly, and then ran off and bought roses. I ended up choosing 4 red roses and a single white rose bigger than all the rest in the middle. Naturally this representation was supposed to suggest all five Moi dix Mois members, with K in the middle as the white one. I included a card with some of my own personal thoughts and tucked it into the bouquet, and thats when we finally ended up right in front of the alter.

Club Quattro is located on the 4th and 5th floors of a used book store, so I really didn't think much of it when I was making my way up on the elevator, but when the doors open thats when it hit me...

Upon exiting the elevator, we were met with a long hallway that contained fliers and advertisements of various bands performing in Tokyo. Everything in this area was dark. It was like a cave. It truly set the mood. Making our way down the hall, we were finally met with a large flower stand that was donated by a group of fans in the entrance immediately before entering the alter area.


(click the thumbnails for larger images)

The detail was really amazing; I absolutely loved the small guitar representing K's at the top! The people who put this together really do some astonishing work.

Quickly after admiring the flower stand, it was finally time to face the very thing I didn't want to have to face.

The scariest, and yet the most beautiful part...



The D+SECT album was playing on a CD player right next to this alter and there were very few people when we got there. I guess we arrived at about the same time it opened for viewing, so thats the reason why. However, it was really a nice thing to get there so early. Since next to nobody was around we could take our time with placing our flowers, viewing the alter, taking pictures, and simply standing there sending our thoughts to K. Admittedly there were already a couple other girls in the room with us, one who already started crying, but besides that, the room felt very private so it turned out to be an extremely special moment in time.




The bottom two pictures are my roses. When I was trying to set them on the table, immediately my hands started shaking. The card I had fell out so I tried putting it further down into the bouquet so it wouldn't get lost, but my hands were shaking so hard it was becoming a bit of an obstacle. I think the card I wrote probably isn't all that great either. I was shaking when I was writing it too, so I'm a little embarrassed about it.

I really don't like to be too personal with my emotions, but I think everyone can understand this event in itself was emotional, so hopefully I won't get judged too hard for writing about my feelings here.

I have had to deal with the death of loved ones throughout my life, some people closer than others. Some family and some friends. However, when I lived in the US, facing this reality was a bit easier. I was with my family and friends who were extremely close to me. Even when somebody close had died, I couldn't bare going to the funeral. It was too painful and too scary. I didn't want to face that reality. I'm not writing this to say I feel any regret about that, because really I don't. The way I deal with grief is very inward for me, so I don't usually show my emotions outwardly through crying. Although, there was something a bit more outward that happened to me, but I'll get to that later. The point is, today I felt like I had to take a big step in my life. Even though this alter for K is simply an alter, it was terrifying for me. I even asked my friend before I went in "is it scary?" because I just really have a lot of trouble facing this kind of thing...

But now I can honestly say I'm glad I did this. I can't say it will change my feelings, especially those towards the situation at hand with K and with Moi dix Mois. I still have issues every time I go to Shibuya, because I always think things like "What if I see K hanging out here today??" or "Wouldn't it be funny if he posted a picture online of him at some hamburger restaurant around this area?" and then the reality sinks in that its not going to happen.

So this alter represented one step closer to my understanding and attempts to grasp on to what still feels surreal nearly 4 months later.

But moving on...

The concert!!!




A funny thing happened right as the concert was about to start. I was able to get about the second or third row and talked with my friends Angel and Yuki for about an hour before the concert started. We even met some fans from Italy, which was really exciting!! Anyway, we were kinda joking when it got closer to 6:00 that the concert wont start on time (it never does) and we were going to give them 10 more minutes to get out on stage. Suddenly, at 6:09 it dawned on us all at once...the concert ALWAYS starts at 10 minutes past the hour. Moi dix Mois = DIX = 10. 6:10 --> 6 is the number of the beast and 10 is dix. We all let out a huge "oohhhhh!!!" at one time when the clock turned to 6:10 and the lights went down and the concert started. Immediately after we started laughing too because it was such a simple concept how could we have not considered it before until now???

I think its also similar to the idea of the concert name. Originally its titled Scarlet Sabbath and May 24th was a Saturday. Historically Saturday is considered the Sabbath, not Sunday, so the concert was appropriately named. Funny enough, I still think although the date was ultimately switched to a Monday it still worked out because now we can think of the color Scarlet as K.

Speaking of Scarlet, as each member walked out on stage (in order Hayato, Sugiya, Mana, and Seth) everyone was sporting red in one way or another. Hayato's hair was a vivid bright red, Sugiya also had some red in his hair and painted his eyebrows red, Seth's hair is as always red too and he had a little bit of red in his costume, if I remember correctly, and Mana was wearing a big red Moi-meme-Moitie cross, red and black lipstick, and had red blood tears painted coming down from his eyes. Another thing worth noting about their appearance, was that everybody was wearing all black and all of their faces were painted pure white except for the various red details. The more I looked at each member, the more I began to realize everyone was trying to portray two things:

First of all, K always had at least half of his face painted white with black and red details, and second, K also loved clowns. Sugiya's make up was very much like an old theatrical type clown, with the details painted around his eyes. Although its not particularly clown-like, Seth's eye patch was also very different from normal. He had a huge scarf/headband type ensemble wrapped around his head with his hair sticking out of it and the headband then came down across his eye (although you could still see part of the eye patch he was wearing underneath).

What was personally interesting to me was that I decided to go to the concert in something a little bit similar to how the band members were dressed.



This picture isn't the best example, but you will see a more detailed shot later on in the entry (there are parts I don't want to give away just yet!). This time I decided on wearing all black with red details as well. Funny enough I also considered doing blood tears coming from my eyes (in black) but I decided against it at the last minute. Of course it wasn't just me who decided to do this, there were some other fans here and there as well. All I can think is, perhaps everyone who did this was in sync with one another tonight!


The concert started with Mana holding up K's crimson guitar after his entrance and the audience immediately responded by yelling and screaming "K!!!!"
Then after the SE, Unmoved was played as Mana used his white Jeune Fille with the red glowing cross in the middle.

This was a really great choice for an opening. It was an introduction to the spirit of the entire night. Everyone on stage was energized, and even with only K's guitar recording playing on his side it felt like he was still with us at that moment. However, the "May you rest in peace" lyrics held a subtle tinge that reminded everyone of tonight's reality. There was no way anybody would be able to mistake what this evening was about.

Not only that, the lighting throughout the entire night painted the stage red. There were times when the stage would flash red and blue, but red was the main color displayed over the whole course of the performance. Everything was so perfectly formed to K's image.

After Unmoved, Beast Side was finally introduced to the Japanese audience for the first time!!

Although we've gotten glimpses of the song from recordings of KUBANA and the "Prototype" uploaded on the official Moi dix Mois youtube, there was nothing quite like experiencing it at the concert itself. During this time, Mana took K's guitar and played on K's side of the stage.

Once Beast Side ended, Mana placed K's guitar on a stand at his side of the stage where half of a black wing was displayed behind and a white light shone overhead throughout the performance.

I don't quite remember every song played, but once I find a playlist posted online I'll add it on here.

Most songs performed tonight were songs where Mana's twin guitar technique was used. For those who don't know, this technique is when Mana plays a part of the song on his side, and then K answers that with his guitar on the opposite side of the stage.

The MC was more or less short and sweet with a few announcements here and there. In the beginning, Seth said some brief words about K that he could barely choke out without starting to cry. It was hard to watch... But soon he recovered and spent more time thanking everyone for their support, talking about upcoming concerts, and a message from Mana.

The concerts coming up are as we already know, Deep Sanctuary IV, which will include a MALICE MIZER session song between Mana, Yu~ki, and Kozi and then Dis Inferno in December. Details about the concerts will be posted on the Moi dix Mois website later on and there will be a message from Yu~ki posted online as well!

The message from Mana was short, but it brought a smile to everyone's face. In the past Mana would always make a special message read out loud by Seth and just as that portion of the MC started classical would suddenly come on. Although, it feels like in recent concerts it hasn't been happening quite like that, so with the classical music once again starting up for Mana's message everyone began to laugh. The message, if I remember correctly, was simply saying coming here [to the live] tonight is something special and important, and Moi dix Mois sends their regards from here on out.

Although the MC was overall pleasant and fun, the lack of conversation and jokes between K and Seth that everyone is so used to hearing made it feel lonely. I think everyone always enjoyed K's little antics during the MC so tonight this portion of the concert that everyone looks forward to just felt so quick. Of course thats nobody's fault! It was just yet another reminder that things are different now...

But with that said, we got to hear two new songs!! Well, one of them was already played before -- Diabolos et Angelie (? not sure if the title is correct). This song as I have probably mentioned before is so refreshing! The second new song that was introduced for the first time tonight was Twilight Flower. This song is truly unique for Moi dix Mois and I have nothing but wonderful things to say about it!!

The song starts out gentle but immediately the drumming comes in taking over until the whole band is playing. The feeling of the song was a little like MALICE MIZER during their Merveilles era!! Also, I'm really not sure if it was Mana's intent, but it reminded me so much of the music in the game Child of Light (as he mentioned in Game Lab recently), especially around the time when the character Rubella appears.... Maybe I'm going too far with this...
Theres this light French carnival-like feeling in it almost, but mixed with the darkness of Moi dix Mois. I was so excited about this song, and I can hardly wait to hear it again!

MAD INGRAIN is a staple Moi dix Mois song played at every live, but K has always been such a huge asset to that song I wondered how it would work out. Sure enough, this song finally came around and at the parts where K typically gets the crowd excited, Hayato took over. Surprisingly Hayato has a ton of energy and was able to take on this job well, but the response from the audience wasn't quite the same. Eventually, however, everyone pulled through, and it turned out successful. The one thing I would like to note though, is that usually during MAD INGRAIN the words are changed for everyone to shout out "dix love!!" for the first half of the song, and then they are changed once more to the keyword of the night. I had halfway expected something like "K love!" but that never happened. I suppose the emotions everyone was going through was more than enough already.

Another strange instance also occurred in the second half of the concert. Seth announced Lamentful Miss, but he said it was the first performance of this song??? I kept thinking "did I hear him wrong?" but I specifically remember him saying "This is the first time we have performed Lamentful Miss".
But they have certainly performed it before, its on the DVDs!!! Perhaps the meaning got lost somewhere along the lines and he meant its the first time in a while? Because that would definitely be true... Either way, Lamentful Miss was performed.

Finally, before leaving the stage, one more song was performed. This is the point where it really struck me emotionally. Ange is a song almost always performed at Moi dix Mois concerts, so its something everyone expects to hear. The thing is, K is always the person to introduce this song. He speaks in a distorted demonic voice and makes a small intro to the song before stating in English "This song....is....Angeee"
In the past I always thought it was funny the way he said it, so it brought a smile to my face each time...but tonight was different. I started feeling sick. I kept thinking "please no..." hearing his voice in this way was unsettling. Don't get me wrong, its wonderful to be able to get this chance to hear him once again utter his notorious intro, but it was so painful.

By the time the song started, I was stupefied. I didn't realize it until half way through the song but I noticed something happened inside of me and I was standing in place just looking forward and not moving, almost as if I were paralyzed in my spot.

This is where I talk about that moment that caused an emotional reaction in me. When I was a high school student a traumatic incident involving a death caused me to get so overwhelmed with emotion on the inside that I passed out and had a seizure at home in front of my mom. The same thing happened again after a traumatic event when I was in high school, just in the middle of class. I blacked out and had another grand mal seizure. Tonight was once again one of those moments...almost. Fortunately over the years I have learned how to deal with this. I'm not perfect at it, and there has been an occasion where I had a seizure in the bathroom when I was alone at my apartment here in Japan. The moment I learned of K's death it almost happened again...it was sooo close to happening, but I caught myself and turned out okay. The problem is, there are times where I don't expect it to come on and tonight was one of those nights. To suddenly "realize" you're standing somewhere is obviously not a good sign. Although I definitely have a lot of emotions on the inside about K's death, I thought the hardest part was already over with the alter, and I had already braced myself for what may happen at the concert. But hearing his voice and listening to that song turned out to be a terrible combination for me. After snapping out and realizing what was happening around me, I had to use all my strength to not pass out and I got through it. I'm so glad I did too, because the last thing I would ever want to do is make the concert harder than it already was.

I imagine some people may have wondered why I didn't cry at the concert. Most everyone cried. But there you have it. Crying usually comes more from the feeling of frustration for me, but obviously I'm not above having seizures from time to time! In all seriousness though, I wasn't able to cry, but I truly, truly felt what everyone was feeling, but in a different way, and it was extremely difficult.


Once Ange ended, everyone left the stage but shortly came back.
This was the final song of the night. The hardest song for almost everyone. Je L'aime.

Before the song started, Seth thanked everyone for their support, and then asked everyone, the Moi dix Mois members and the audience, to raise their hands to the sky and take a moment to pray to K. During this time, the sound of 10 bells tolled and then there was a moment of silence.

Slowly the opening of Je l'aime started to play. The lights were dimmed to a deep blue, and in the shadows Mana started crying. I have mentioned seeing him cry in past concerts, but never like this. It was probably the hardest thing to watch the entire night. To see this grown man trying to hold it together, but unable to stop himself and just sobbing in the darkness. I really thought, and I think he did too, that he wouldn't be able to play the song. He usually has his hands in position to play his guitar, but at that point he kinda threw his hands down to his side and looked like he wouldn't be able to go on. In the last second though, he grasped himself back together and began playing. After that, in the duration of the song, he was able to perform as usual, but once again at the very end when Seth was singing in a cappella he started crying again.

Each Moi dix Mois member left the stage one by one. Hayato tried entertaining everyone momentarily as he showed off his bright red hair by bending towards the crowd and rubbing his hands through it. It was his way of sort of paying a tribute to K, and he really did the entire concert so gracefully. Mana was the last one off the stage. Before leaving, he placed his guitar on the ground and went over and picked up K's. He then walked to the center of the stage and riffed K's guitar as hard as he possibly could, before holding it up as high as possible pointing it towards the sky and then walking off stage while carrying it with him.

Once everyone left the stage, one more song played that the entire audience stood in silence for and cried. It was a beautiful classical piece performed in a cappella, which is usually reserved for the time between the end of the concert and the encore. Tonight however, it reinforced the mood and was used as an ending to allow everyone a couple extra moments to stand there and exam the stage while taking everything in. All around you could hear nothing but sniffling and sobs.

The lights eventually turned on and everyone started to leave.

Before exiting the venue however, there were a couple extra surprises.

First was K's black guitar placed at the flower alter!!



and as you can see the flowers were piling up!



I tried to get a close up of K's picture in the center.

Then, upon leaving we got a K memorial ticket!!





I realize how incredibly stupid I look in these purikura, but anyway thats all I had of my full coordinate for tonight's concert. In the second picture the dress looks so long, but in reality its a regular OP length, not a long version.

Its really been a long emotional day and now I'm finally finishing this entry several hours after starting it!! I imagine everyone who went is now drained and looking back at the memories ingrained in their hearts and minds. Right now in particular is a difficult time for Moi dix Mois, and while the concert itself was fun, we cannot forget to continue giving them love and support to help them move forward.

Despite the sadness, it really felt like there is still hope for the future and I have no doubt K will never be forgotten. Hopefully he was looking down at all of us during the concert tonight filled with happiness and love.

Now then, I guess its time to say goodnight and look forward to what the future has to offer.


dix Love!!!!!!!!!!




Sarah
Space Expo 2014


I talked about this in passing a couple entries ago, but today was planned to be a busy day for me -- the Tokyo Space Expo 2014!!!

Its extremely rare for me to post a picture like this on my blog, seeing as I'm not wearing Moi-meme-Moitie, but I couldn't resist wearing my NASA shirt for the occasion!

The Space Expo is a collaboration between NASA and JAXA held in Makuhari Messe until the end of September. Unfortunately for me, Makuhari Messe is quite a ways away, so I had to wake up extremely early just to get there by 11:00 am. Even worse was one of the trains I needed to catch was out of service, so I was delayed about 20 minutes after promising a couple friends I would be there in time. Why do things like this always happen to me...? (;~;)

Regardless, I finally made it there. From the outside, the venue was relatively quiet.



However, the inside was a different story...

To tell the truth, this expo wasn't all that different from visiting the NASA Space Center in Houston. For those who are interested, check out my NASA entry here!!
Having said that, since I already wrote at length about my NASA visit, this entry will be a little more condensed and I'll try to focus on aspects of this expo that were different from the US Space Center.

Upon entering the expo, we were immediately lead to a room with a short video on the NASA/JAXA Space programs and the history of space missions. This wasn't anything all that new to me, so immediately after the video finished showing we entered a room that displayed historical figures from various backgrounds who helped shape our imaginations and understanding of space and space programs today. Sadly I didn't know a lot of the figures portrayed in this area, but there were posters and TVs displaying a number of influences from cartoons, TV shows, etc based on these people. My most favorite was...



Da Vinci!!

I cannot emphasize enough how much I love and admire Leonardo Da Vinci. Actually, some of you may recall back when I wrote about visiting NASA, there was a large section upon the main area where the space center decided to display Da Vinci's inventions. Every time I see Da Vinci references within the space industry it makes me extremely happy. He was truly a pioneer and an inspiration to so much technology we take for granted today. I feel like Da Vinci was a major gateway to innovation, even if for many years his inventions went largely unnoticed. I just can't help but feel at awe when I think of his genius.

Anyway,
after this portion of the expo, we headed to the main part, which just kept getting bigger and bigger... It was mind blowing how much they had to offer! However, even though it was extremely large, in the beginning especially, the displays were extremely similar to those shown at Space Center Houston. I have to admit, at times it felt a little strange to be taking pictures of replicas of actual engines and space crafts I saw in the US. Therefore, I want to skip past those parts in this entry so I don't become redundant.

One thing I found particularly impressive at the Space Expo was the amount of large crafts they replicated in real size. I'm not particularly talking about rockets, but things like rovers, engines, probes, and various other things I couldn't begin to explain accurately.




This expo was surprisingly very well up to date to current happenings in space exploration, so in the picture last picture above you can see the current Mars Curiosity rover. If I remember correctly, not even NASA had a replica of Curiosity, so it was exciting to see how large it really is! In pictures and videos it always seems so small, but in reality its quite big. I also fell in love with the parachute which draped over a big area with its module sitting underneath. The module looked a lot like those from the Mercury missions, which I posted pictures of previously, so there wasn't much of a need to reiterate it.
Finally there were the probes which I don't quite remember from NASA so I was instantly attracted. The CCP one at the top kind of reminds me of Wall-E.

Besides the large items, there were a few other replicas not to scale, but still with amazing detail!





While I always love looking at the ships, one of the main attractions was the ISS hanging from the ceiling!! Obviously its not the same size as the real ISS floating in space right now, but it was exciting to see a larger scale model of it like this. In real life it was easy to see the details so you were able to get an impression of how it must really look orbiting our earth right now.

Speaking of ISS, back when I visited NASA I got to enter a replica of a portion of the ISS which was breath taking!! At this space expo however, while it wasn't the ISS particularly, we did get to enter a replica of Japan's Experiment Module, KIBO!




The interior of KIBO is a lot like the ISS, and its purpose is much like the ISS in general as it is somewhat of an extension. The top picture is the exterior of it before entering, and then the bottom two pictures are first a replica of an astronaut performing a space walk, and secondly, autographs by real astronauts who came to visit the expo! The most recent one happens to be from August 19th, just 6 days before we went! I'm a little sad we didn't get a chance to see them in real life, but it was still nice to see their autographs and think about how even they continue to help the space programs by showing up to events like these.

I have a lot of pictures from the inside of KIBO, but after reviewing them, I felt like they didn't do much justice to the true feeling of the module, so I left them out. I think my original pictures from the inside of the ISS replica give a better impression of what its like to visit inside something like this.


Finally, since this entry is starting to get long, here are my last few highlights from the trip.





The first two pictures are as you might have guessed, space suits. The very first one shows what it looks like from the interior and exterior of the suit to give you an idea of everything necessary to make a space suit a space suit. Then the next picture is the thermal suit which controls heating and cooling for the astronaut while doing space walks or going out on the moon, etc.
Underneath we have the safety net and life rafts used to help astronauts out of their craft upon landing in the sea. I cannot even begin to imagine the feeling of falling from space to land in an ocean rocking back and forth until someone comes to retrieve you... that has to be difficult.

Afterwards is one of my most favorite parts -- the film from the original photographs taken on the moon! This is something I never would have expected to see in person, so it instantly captured my attention. Under these film strips there was a display of various cameras used during moon walks. Its amazing to see how much cameras have changed today. Theres something truly inspiring about seeing equipment like this and realizing these cameras captured images virtually nobody will ever be able to do in their life time. To be on the moon taking pictures of it surface must feel like a dream!

But moving along, the last picture is actually something I saw in the US as well, but I took a different picture of. The control deck on the Atlantis. Last time my picture was close up and I completely forgot to get a picture from further away to get a proper view of the scene. This time I made sure to do so because the control panel is something that never stops intriguing me. It really makes me wish I could pilot a space craft, but then again thats a huge responsibility I would be terrified of messing up...

All in all, the Space Expo was a success! We spent the entire day from morning until late in the afternoon combing every part of the venue until we were exhausted and hungry. While I really enjoyed my time, a part of me can't stop wishing to go back again... however, I don't think theres enough time to do so. But! that doesn't mean the space exploration adventures are over! Theres actually a number of places in Tokyo and other areas of Japan dedicated to the space program that I absolutely want to see some day!! So really, this is only until next time, JAXA!!




............oh...whats that? Am I just going to end this entry with only a JAXA report??



( ̄ー+ ̄)
You didn't think I actually forgot, did you?
Actually, I went to the book store yesterday thinking the GLB was supposed to be released on the 24th only to find nothing was there...
Today while we were having lunch I happened to check my phone and see Mana's blog update so immediately after we finished we ran to the nearest book store!!

Just as the last issue, there are only two pictures this time. I know I didn't post volume 52 scans on -here- but were you still able to find them in the hidden location?

By the way, I wonder what everyone thinks about this autumn 2014 collection... To be honest, while I love the design, I'm a little disappointed to see a lack of variation. Two coats that are nearly the same, with the only difference being EGA and EGL?? It looks like there is a blue dress underneath the EGL coat, but the only stock items shown are the ones below Mana on the EGA photo... I would really love to know what that dress (or skirt) looks like!!

At least the new hair style looks nice (although it reminds me of a friend of mine...)

Buckle Belt Half Coat (EGA) 62,000 yen
Coat wth Double Cuff Belt (EGL) 64,000 yen
Crystal Cross Comb (EGM) 6,000 yen
Crystal Cross Choker (EGM) 4,500 yen

By the way, please consider purchasing your own copy of the Gothic & Lolita Bible since there are all kinds of amazing content besides these two photos!!

Gothic & Lolita Bible International Sales on CDJapan
and
Gothic & Lolita Bible International sales on Yesasia

GLB Official Site (Japanese)



Sarah


祭り
Today, as mentioned in my previous entry, is the start of the two day long Azabu Juban festival!

Every year I go to this festival, not particularly for the sake of the festival itself, but because I live in the area. Its so big its nearly impossible to avoid! But anyway, I enjoy it regardless and always take the opportunity to see whats happening. Therefore, I thought I would share some pictures from this afternoon!



As I said, its huge! There are several streets lined with food, entertainment, and games. This is looking down one of the main streets and one of the easiest places to get a picture from. I'm short so standing in the crowd and taking photos isn't very effective. So this was the best way I could get a picture of everyone.

By the way, click the thumbnails for larger size images.




The top picture isn't the greatest, but I happened to find a beautiful drag queen at one of the booths!!
Then in the pictures underneath, to the left is the main "patio" area (as my friends and I call it) which has many purposes. Obviously as you can see, this time its used for the main events. The guy on stage here is sort of a comedy act using swords. He spoke in Japanese and English, which took me a moment to register. I'm not used to hearing English anymore, so it was a surprise when I suddenly realized it. (^^;
Also, on the right hand side, I couldn't help but get a picture of the fish on a stick. I don't think I could ever eat something that still has a face and eyes, but its interesting to look at...

and lastly, my food!!



Today really wasn't nearly as hot as most of the summer has been, but I still couldn't pass up a blue hawaii icee! (*__*)
I ended up bringing home okonomiyaki and soba noodles. They were so good and only about 300 yen, so its perfect! The fan in the background contains this year's festival mascot. Its so cute!!(人´∀`)


Lastly, although this doesn't have anything to do with the festival, I thought I would post something a bit embarrassing to me, but its for a good reason......



For those who are unaware, there is currently a challenge going around the internet right now to raise awareness (and money) to help research a cure for ALS, also known as Lou Gehrig's disease. I never anticipated on doing this myself, but in the end I decided to go through with it. The reason is, while I stated that I was nominated by a friend to do it, I was also deeply moved by a video somebody made who actually has to live with the disease.

Surely there are people who probably think the whole thing is stupid or for attention, but when it comes down to the matter there really are people suffering every day, and I think a large portion of people didn't really know much about it until these ice bucket challenge videos started showing up online.

For those who wish to understand the whole thing better, please check out this video.



I don't often post about these kinds of things, but this really caught my attention. Even if its only a small contribution, doing anything to make the world a better place is much greater than doing nothing at all.

I listed the names of only a few friends in my video, but actually I want to challenge all Moi dix Mois fans to help those in need! ALS is a great start, but let's try to help out those in need from all walks of life!


Now then, it might be time to go get dinner...( ̄ー+ ̄)



Sarah
Requieum for K
During the KUBANA festival, Moi dix Mois unveiled their "Requiem for K" as they called it for the first time.

Tonight it seems the song has been released by the Official Moi dix Mois Youtube account in a sort of "PV" format.



Furthermore, according to this video title, the song has been retitled to Beast Side (Prototype).

The video footage is from the Fragments of Philosophy live series. This was the Chapter 1 Darkness Theater concert on November 3, 2011.

By the way,
tons of KUBANA images were uploaded on the Moi dix Mois twitter!
Although I didn't want to spam this entry with the tweets, it seems they have commentary in Japanese, so here they are with the translations...



2014.8.16 KUBANA FES Moi dix Mois morning rehearsal



2014.8.16 KUBANA FES Moi dix Mois evening LIVE start



2014.0.18 KUBANA FES Moi dix Mois The audience is holding up fireworks!




Obviously this last one has no need for translation, but I thought I would include it since its part of the set and it looks nice.



Anyway, this is a little off topic, but aside from Moi dix Mois, it looks like this weekend is going to be busy for me!!(;゚∀゚)

First, starting tomorrow there will be Azabu Juban festival for 2 days...
I've seen this festival for 5 years now, so to me its nothing new, but at least they have cheap food that I will come out for during lunch and dinner...and maybe snack...or more than one snack...(≧∇≦)
However, I work on Sundays so I'm sure what takes a 5-10 minute walk to and from the station to my apartment will take an hour.( `-ω-)

and then Monday!! I will get to see the NASA/JAXA exhibition at Makuhari Messe!! I have been waiting all summer to go and now finally its almost time! I'm so excited! But I'm not sure many Mana fans actually care about space related topics, so I might end up posting it on my other blog, Hex Maniac. I haven't decided yet.

Oh, and since last time I mentioned working on game lab again, I have still been working steadily on that and hope to post it before too long.
I really hope everyone will look forward to it!!



Sarah
KUBANA
I imagine many of you already read the new Monologue†Garden entry about Moi dix Mois safely returning to Japan and concerns about online streaming of the concert, but I wanted to address it a little further.

I apologize to anyone who may have found out about the KUBANA live streaming on this blog and waited for the Moi dix Mois concert. What happened was the information of posted on the KUBANA site was misleading, so I was as much in the dark about the information as everyone else.

Since the site said they would be broadcasting the festival live, my first thought was "Why didn't Moi dix Mois announce this information?" but then I began to wonder if they even knew about it. Regardless, I thought to myself "well if Moi dix Mois does show up in the end and nobody knows about it, I feel like I'll regret not saying anything..." I saw other posts floating around the internet about the live streaming before I even decided to post it, and I even considered not saying anything, but that feeling of "what if" kept sticking with my conscience.

In the end I posted about it because I didn't want fans to miss a potential chance to watch their favorite band.

Although I usually don't trust any sources that don't come directly from Moi dix Mois, it seems in some cases even I can be mislead from time to time!! (^^;; )
But I suppose thats happens when another organization is in charge of everything and situations can be changed in an instant. Its kind of like how all of a sudden Moi dix Mois had an autograph session at KUBANA and yet nobody was informed of this until the day of the live. Theres a lot of confusion involved when it comes to things like festivals...

Anyway, since there was a lot of misunderstanding concerning the subject I figured it would be a good idea to address it.


By the way, I started working on Game Lab translations again and I can't wait to share them because I have a commentary I am really excited about adding to it!! As soon as its finished it will be posted on here, so I hope everyone looks forward to it!!


Sarah